My Story
A few days back, I mailed some of you my Christian testimony. Since quite a few requested to put this online, so I here it goes. Hope it blesses you reading it.
The Verse:
I always wondered how to describe my salvation story since I have been attending church before I could ever remember. Born to a family with humble finances, my family was predominantly Christians except for both my parents. Courtesy of a relaxed childhood, I attended 2 different Presbyterian churches all the way through elementary school, one in English and the other in Chinese. Being exposed to the biblical teachings since young, I used to think that Christianity was all about obeying rules. This was further reinforced with by family pedagogical way of teaching “Christians shouldn’t do this; Christians should do that”. Christianity was simply … religion.
Since young, I always knew my family didn’t have much but just enough to get by. There were many things that I wanted to have and do but couldn’t. I refused to believe that I was under privileged in any way. “After all,” I told myself, “you can’t have everything; life is fair”. I started banking on achievements to prove my worth. I worked part time through middle school for spare cash. It was around that time where I began developing a growing a .com company which I believed would be my lucky break. The website grew rapidly within a year. For once, I felt I really had something I could be proud of.
My euphoria was short-lived. An unforeseen financial downturn in my family drove me to search for opportunities to ensure my college education. When a scholarship to study in Singapore came, I knew I only had one option.
Being put together in a dorm together with the best scholars in the region, it didn’t take me long to realize I am living with the elites. All of them were smart, rich, athletic and talented in some way or another. I simply could not measure up. These people made me believe they could have everything. To make matters worse, my new hostel lacked Internet facilities meaning I had to give up my involvement in the online company. My one and only prized possession was taken away. For the first time in my life, I began to think that life was unfair. I resented the fact that these people had it better because their families could afford to send them to better schools, lessons and coaching with fees easily five times more than what I earned. I worked harder than anybody else. What must I be the one holding up the bottom of the scales?
Week after week, my self-esteem diminished. No matter how hard I try to do something, there seemed to be someone else in the small dorm of 14 who could do it better, be it studies, sports or extra curricular activities. While I still prayed regularly, I began to doubt if my prayers were ever heard. The set of rules called “Christianity” doesn’t seem to be helping me in my problems right then.
The day came when I knelt down in church after a disastrous week and cried out to God. I had nothing simply nothing left. My grades were slipping, finances were running out and I was shunned by my dorm-mates. Praying in silent agony, suddenly I saw a vision. I saw all the things that I had always dreamt of doing flashed before me all at once. Till today, I still believed I heard God spoke to me that day in church, “Believe in Me and put Me first and I will make all these happen”.
After that weekend, I felt different. I felt I no longer need to build my confidence upon achievements. Instead, I could be just rest my confidence in the Lord. My Bible reading experience also changed dramatically. Suddenly, it seemed like there is always a verse in my daily readings that was able to sooth me of the wounds I collected on that day. Christianity wasn’t a religion anymore. It became a lifestyle and a relationship. I became more interested to learn more about something I thought I already knew. After attending baptism class, I learnt that to be saved means to believe that 2000 years ago, a man hung on a cross for me and this man is my Savior. It’s not about the good deeds that I do, how many Sundays spent in church, the songs I sing or the amount of rules I obey. On August 26th 2000, I acknowledged this Savior as I fully submerged into the water of the baptism pool.
Looking back, I can hardly believe I am the same person I was 7 years ago. It has been a long journey. I still struggle financially. I had to work on vacations and even during term time just to make ends meet. But the little that I have, I am committed to tithe a tenth reluctant as I may be at times. I am still in the company of elites, although I see it as a privilege now to be able to work and learn from people way better than I am. I still strive hard, but that’s because I want to be a husband who is worthy of my future spouse. In God’s eyes, there’s nothing more I could do to earn my salvation.
The Verse:
But seek first the kingdom of God, and all these shall be added unto you".The StoryMatthew 6:33
I always wondered how to describe my salvation story since I have been attending church before I could ever remember. Born to a family with humble finances, my family was predominantly Christians except for both my parents. Courtesy of a relaxed childhood, I attended 2 different Presbyterian churches all the way through elementary school, one in English and the other in Chinese. Being exposed to the biblical teachings since young, I used to think that Christianity was all about obeying rules. This was further reinforced with by family pedagogical way of teaching “Christians shouldn’t do this; Christians should do that”. Christianity was simply … religion.
Since young, I always knew my family didn’t have much but just enough to get by. There were many things that I wanted to have and do but couldn’t. I refused to believe that I was under privileged in any way. “After all,” I told myself, “you can’t have everything; life is fair”. I started banking on achievements to prove my worth. I worked part time through middle school for spare cash. It was around that time where I began developing a growing a .com company which I believed would be my lucky break. The website grew rapidly within a year. For once, I felt I really had something I could be proud of.
My euphoria was short-lived. An unforeseen financial downturn in my family drove me to search for opportunities to ensure my college education. When a scholarship to study in Singapore came, I knew I only had one option.
Being put together in a dorm together with the best scholars in the region, it didn’t take me long to realize I am living with the elites. All of them were smart, rich, athletic and talented in some way or another. I simply could not measure up. These people made me believe they could have everything. To make matters worse, my new hostel lacked Internet facilities meaning I had to give up my involvement in the online company. My one and only prized possession was taken away. For the first time in my life, I began to think that life was unfair. I resented the fact that these people had it better because their families could afford to send them to better schools, lessons and coaching with fees easily five times more than what I earned. I worked harder than anybody else. What must I be the one holding up the bottom of the scales?
Week after week, my self-esteem diminished. No matter how hard I try to do something, there seemed to be someone else in the small dorm of 14 who could do it better, be it studies, sports or extra curricular activities. While I still prayed regularly, I began to doubt if my prayers were ever heard. The set of rules called “Christianity” doesn’t seem to be helping me in my problems right then.
The day came when I knelt down in church after a disastrous week and cried out to God. I had nothing simply nothing left. My grades were slipping, finances were running out and I was shunned by my dorm-mates. Praying in silent agony, suddenly I saw a vision. I saw all the things that I had always dreamt of doing flashed before me all at once. Till today, I still believed I heard God spoke to me that day in church, “Believe in Me and put Me first and I will make all these happen”.
After that weekend, I felt different. I felt I no longer need to build my confidence upon achievements. Instead, I could be just rest my confidence in the Lord. My Bible reading experience also changed dramatically. Suddenly, it seemed like there is always a verse in my daily readings that was able to sooth me of the wounds I collected on that day. Christianity wasn’t a religion anymore. It became a lifestyle and a relationship. I became more interested to learn more about something I thought I already knew. After attending baptism class, I learnt that to be saved means to believe that 2000 years ago, a man hung on a cross for me and this man is my Savior. It’s not about the good deeds that I do, how many Sundays spent in church, the songs I sing or the amount of rules I obey. On August 26th 2000, I acknowledged this Savior as I fully submerged into the water of the baptism pool.
Looking back, I can hardly believe I am the same person I was 7 years ago. It has been a long journey. I still struggle financially. I had to work on vacations and even during term time just to make ends meet. But the little that I have, I am committed to tithe a tenth reluctant as I may be at times. I am still in the company of elites, although I see it as a privilege now to be able to work and learn from people way better than I am. I still strive hard, but that’s because I want to be a husband who is worthy of my future spouse. In God’s eyes, there’s nothing more I could do to earn my salvation.
posted by Wayne at
3:11 PM
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